“Rock of Love” is my crack rock

I don’t have an addictive personality per se, more like finite periods of time spent on a quirky obsession.  Case in point.  “Rock of Love” the totally bizarre VH1 reality show with Bret Michels lead singer of the hair band Poison on his quest for love.  Seriously?  this is just about the craziest reality show of all time.  It finished its third season a couple of months back.  I discovered this show because of a spoof on SNL last year that was incredibly hilarious.  Had to google to find out what the heck they were spoofing only to discover the 2nd season was underway.  Here comes the obsessive part.  I go to iTunes and immediately buy the 2nd season pass and go on a binge of watching them all over a weekend to lead up to the finale.  Where the choice is between reasonably normal Amber and the over the top tattooed, big boobed, big lipped, multi pierced Daisy (who actually has a reality show of her own on VH1!!!).  Along the way the women who have paraded through his house of cat fights galore is just the best train wreck to watch on TV.  I sit in wonder, who are these women and where do they work?  never seen so many fake boobs, tattoos and crazy women in my life and they all assemble for my entertainment!  At the end he chose Amber in season 2, a month after that they have the reunion show which is cat fight central.  One of the best parts of the show is when chicks get voted off the island as it were.  Bret has his sidekick/bodyguard Big John hand him lanyards with laminated cards simulating the backstage passes of rock concerts with the chick’s photo on it.  He will call one down ask them to stay with the clever line of  “Suzy, will you stay on the tour and continue to rock my world”.  All these women and silicone in a house is drama central.  AND even better some have chiildren somewhere!

However all would not go smoothly with Amber so Bret was back this year with Rock of Love 3, the bus tour!  his premise this time being he is touring and any gal in his life needs to be able to handle all the fun of the road, the groupies, the bus life etc so this time the contestants rode on two buses a blue bus and a pink bus.  The crazy blonde strippers picked the pink bus and dubbed themselves the “Blondeterage”.  and one can’t remember her name gave me one of my new favorite phrases, “what the French” a twist on the old WTF that I use way too much.

These women participate in several challenges along the way with winners getting special one on one dates with Bret and chances to liplock with him usually with one or two other “chosen” ones along too.  Wow, wouldn’t you want to go on a foursome date and watch the guy you are vying for kiss several other women?  I know that would make ME want him all the more!!

Challenges can be the mud bowl which is exactly what you expect skimpily clad women playing football in the mud with firemen and their hoses keeping it all muddy and getting huge kicks out of it themselves.  And I especially love when it gets down to about 4 or 5 girls Bret brings in someone from their lives, like exes or family who then get to spill on the chicks.  there is always someone still shacking with the not so ex boyfriend or baby daddy.  (a particular fave was the stripper from Vegas whose baby daddy and baby is named James and it was tattooed at the top of her seriously enhanced fake boob, special!)  that is one of the most fun episodes as Bret as in all episodes has little comment sections and his reactions are priceless.

I wish I could quit Rock of Love.  I am pretty sure that the  “winner” this time who said every single time that she was a Penthouse pet of the month and during the show won for the year, will not stick long and he will potentially be back in search of  love or something? again next year.  But I have to do this show in a marathon of episodes over the weekend like a serious binge.  I come away from it knowing it was frivolous time spent but no calories were involved!  Because like all things that are really bad for you, they stop tasting good fairly quickly, you wished you hadn’t eaten that whole cake or the bag of cookies, but you have moments that you remember it was delish.   And laughing is really good for you.

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