Casserole-Bearing-Bitches, Casserole-Carrying-Bitches take your pick

CBB or CCB…you can take your pick but these gals are out there.  This is a phenomenon that I have witnessed many times over and I bet you have too but you didn’t have the name for it.  Casserole Bearing Bitches or Casserole Carrying Bitches, whatever you are comfortable with and the C can be for cocktails too.  These are the women that show up on a man’s doorstep or the phone really when there is a whiff of the previous woman has departed.  And I mean actually departed for good like D-E-A-D or the parties have just separated and haven’t even divorced yet.  A dead woman doesn’t even have to be in the ground or cold for one of these “ladies” to swoop in like a predatory bird with lipstick.  They will show up at the door bearing food, a casserole or a line about getting together for a drink.  Think a serious southern accent when you read “Ah a-um soooo saw-ry about your wife/girlfriend/partner whatever.  Ah jest had to stop by and see if you needed anything, anything ah-tall.  And I brought over this noodle bake/tuna casserole/lasagna for you for later as I know you probably can’t thank of taking care of yerself at a time like this”  Or “would you like to get a drink sometime?  I am a good listener.”

And men, well we know they really can’t handle the alone time.  Think about this.  Have you known ANY men who have lost much time in having another woman on their arm?  doesn’t matter the circumstances.  And I am talking about even the most grief stricken widower who has lost THE love of his life, sincerely.  But there will be a woman who will ingratiate herself to him, make herself so useful that he will be putty in her hands.   Before he knows it, he has got a woman “helping” him with every little thing.

I am not exaggerating here!  When did women become so incapable of being alone or taking care of themselves that they had to be a CCB to get a guy?  I have seen it many times but the most offensive was the funeral of a dear friend.  There was a woman who had known the husband during a time that they were separated who actually CAME TO THE FUNERAL.  With the sad look, the tsk tsk, such a shame all that and the parting “if there is anything I can do, anything at-tall”.  There was no shame at a funeral!

And bar the door if there is a whiff of divorce or separation.  There will be someone to pick up the pieces to be sure.  Men never have to worry about that.  What is interesting is how this doesn’t really work in reverse.  There really aren’t Casserole/Cocktail carrying/bearing Bastards, are there?  And that leads to another blog for another time, THE CODE, the man code.  You will not see some guy showing up on the porch to console the widow or the divorcee unless they were in on the expiration date of the previous relationship.  And in that case they are not a CBB because they were “in” already.  Will get back to you on The Code.

CCB/CBBs would be funnier if they weren’t so damn true.  Doesn’t make me proud to be a woman I can tell ya.  Point to ponder.

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