Since Garrett has had a thing for Victoria’s Secret models since the age of 7, it is not surprising that he has shared this information with his friends. What was a little surprising was how I find out about this.
First though, all moms everywhere have to have at least one other woman/mom who is sane in the universe of crazy moms everywhere. I am waiting for a truly horrifying slasher film that the heroines are moms who end up defeating a land of zombie moms, not unlike Stepford wives but this time the sane ones win. I am very fortunate to have more than one other sane mom to run to screaming in the night with if needed, vino in hand, and it is really nice when they have children who are friends of your children.
My kids have been lucky to be friends with Elliot and his parents couldn’t have been more of a blessing when Ray died. They swooped in and my kids are like one of the family to them. both spending the night and hanging with them and their house was a place of refuge in many ways so a big shout out to the Abrahams on that alone. and Elliot and his sister Katherine know they got a spot at ours too.
Elliot’s mom Elizabeth is a keep it real gal and God loves her for it. We joke about taking a village to raise the kids so she is part of my village. In the village you want sane parents who let you know when their are issues and not the alarming-finger-pointing-snooty-my-kid-is-precious-and-does-nothing-wrong-it’s-the-other-kids kind but the heads up, fyi kind. we all know those moms and we dream of running them over in our suburbans.
So one day she calls me to tell me a story of walking down the hall by Elliot’s room and seeing him quickly throw something under the bed. She walks back in asks what was it, he says nothing, she asks again, he gets it out and it is a VS catalogue. But not just any. Oh no. One with my name and address on it. Elliot lets her know that Garrett brought it over when he spent the night last. Being a sane mom, she told Elliot not to take it to anyone else’s house and the issues of bringing things like that to houses where (not that she put it this way) other moms would not be so understanding, to put it mildly. So she calls me laughing suggesting I might want to make sure G doesn’t travel with his stash anymore.
SO when I finish laughing I do go and find Garrett and let him know MY catalogues don’t leave the house again, other moms will go crazy and some boys spending the night don’t need to know that he swipes them from the mag pile and keeps them because there are the boys who go and tell even though they spent the whole night with the catalogue in their sleeping bag. there will be those that act as though Garrett corrupted them with filth ont he order of Penthouse, Hustler and the Playboy channel and they are scarred for life. (which sane people know is not true but then they are all not so sane are they??) And Elizabeth is a sane one but some boys could be at her house and the cycle continues until Garrett is the purveyor of middle school filth and debauchery. And if you knew Garrett you would know he would be absolutely mortified by any portrayal like that.
With that understanding in place with my son I did add, and in the future please remove my name and address from all future swiped VS catalogues because even if he doesn’t take them to someone’s house that doesn’t mean some boy won’t decide he can’t live without it after spending the night at mine! At least my name won’t be the first one a crazed mom calls if it is not on the back!