“So let me get this right…………Kelsey Grammer can end a 15 yr marriage by phone, Larry King can be on divorce #9, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage, Jesse James and Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with EVERYONE, 53% of Americans get divorced and 30-60% cheat on their spouses. Yet, same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage? Really?”
I have copied this from a status a friend on Facebook posted this week. when I copied it to mine another friend said I should blog on this so here I am. this is the first blog I have done in quite some time but my friend KTD was right, this one needs a commentary.
I have two exceptional friends I spent time with today. A loving couple that I went to their home for lunch and we sat around a fire in their comfortable welcoming living room and caught up because it had been since a Christmas party at their home since I had seen them. They are two of my most favorite people, a couple who has been together for over 7 or so years. When I am at their home I just have such a sense of peace. We are lucky if we know people who can make us so at ease, people who exude love for each other. These friends happen to be two women. They had been married in previous lives, have children from those straight conventional marriages but I know with certainty that these are two of the best matched people there could be. they actually went to one’s home state of Connecticut last fall to have a marriage ceremony. Coming back to Texas, they knew their union would not be recognized but this act of commitment was important enough for them to go to great lengths to make it official where they could.
I have three other sets of couples friends that are embarking on commitments of the matrimonial sort in the next few months. They are committed and planning and making ceremonial decisions and vows as seriously as any other couple I have known. One couple is two men and the others are women. One of these couples will actually have their ceremony in a state that recognizes same-sex unions, the other two will get “married” in states that don’t and all return home to Texas which will not recognize their unions, no matter where it happened. There is something wrong with this picture folks.
I really don’t care whether you are of the opinion or stand behind your religious belief that a gay couple is wrong or against God. Sorry sell it somewhere else because it doesn’t matter if your church affiliation finds this wrong and hides behind a bible to back up its condemnation. The FACT is the good ole U.S. of A. was founded on principles that determined a separation of church and state. If I get married in a church, I still have to get a license from the great state of Texas and that is the license that counts. A non-religious fee paid license. Because all of the friends I speak of are US citizens, taxpayers, non-felons, of legal age to vote, drink and die for this country there should be NO REASON. REPEAT. NO REASON that they cannot have a license to marry the person they love just because they happen to love someone with the same parts.
If you are religious and believe that God made us in his own image, I am going to have to quibble if you want to say “but not THEM”. My God is a loving God. And there is no question that love lives in the house of the friends I spent time with today.
Back to the post of my friend at the beginning of this writing. Heterosexuals don’t have a whole lot to hang their hat on in trying to say the union of a man and a woman is sacred now do they? At the end of the day, any relationship, the one between a parent and child, two best friends, a straight couple, a gay couple, a purple pink and polka dotted couple is all based on respect, trust, love and the commitment the two people share. Heterosexuals are not doing the “institution” any better. Frankly maybe a couple that has had to fight for just the basic legal right to hold up a piece of paper that says they are legally hitched may have something to show the rest of us. It may actually be worth more than the paper it is written on, taking liberty with the saying. In countries where they have not had the right to participate in elections and then they do, one would think it was the lottery they just won. I think the same could be said for gay marriages.
I always want to scratch my head and say “now what exactly is going to happen to a “straight” couple marriage if a gay couple gets to do it”? are we talking about the threat that there are just more people vying for the coveted wedding location? I think I need someone to clarify the actual threat because I am not seeing the need for a code orange or black or whatever. How can a legalized marriage of my dear friends or even total strangers who happen to be gay threaten me? My straight marriage is not ending because it was threatened by possible gay unions. It is ending because we couldn’t make it work. Period.
I won’t be attending the ceremonies of all my gay friends upcoming nuptials and not because I don’t support them but logistical reasons, all the usual. I will be on hand to witness a long term friend marry her love and I am as excited about this wedding as I have been for any of my dear friends. She takes it as seriously as anyone I know. My friends I spent this afternoon with will also be there and it is going to be a joyous occasion spent celebrating the love of two people who are committing lives together.
When I see my couple friends I don’t see a husband and wife or a man and woman or even two of the same gender. I see my couple friends and I see love. We need to be mindful that love is it folks.
I think the religious “right” is all wrong and they need to focus on real threats to marriage. Like cheating spouses, lies, dishonesty and general human mayhem. Human nature is just that, human and it crosses all lines.
My friends are getting married and I love them and wish them all good things as I do anyone getting married. A comedian once said that don’t gay couples deserve to be just as miserable as the rest of us by having the right to get married. Actually all couples deserve the right to legally step up like any of us and say they are willing to try and defy odds and make a happy life together.
I will be raising a glass to them all. I am not scared or threatened.